He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
