wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
