Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
