Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
