he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk