i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
