Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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