My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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