If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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