Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
