So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
