Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
