Please, let me fuck your mom
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
