why didn't you poke me back
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
