I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
