she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
