I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
