need another drink. this is the easiest way
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
