Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
