Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
