Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
