R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
