True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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