You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize