Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
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I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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