Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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