I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
