i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
