I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
