Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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