just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
