We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
