I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
