She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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