Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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