Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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