I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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