How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
