i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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