The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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