I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
