Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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