I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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