1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
