i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My vagina just clenched in fear
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
