i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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