So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
