i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
