She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
