Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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