I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
