so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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