btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
