I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
