I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The air was thick with penises
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize