I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
