i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize