i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
