I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
