im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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