Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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